the shifting ambience

I come quietly into this space today, uncertain of it in a way I've never been before. I feel a little like a fox whose territory has been bulldozed, and I don't exactly know why. Nothing has actually changed - except the sense of it, now I'm here and typing, has changed. And I don't know how, I can't describe it, I don't know what it will come to mean.

Truthfully, something beneath blogging has been whispering to me for a while, suggesting new growth. I've tried to think about it, and perhaps take control of it, but today it feels like the growth is happening organically, whether I do anything about it or not.




I've been paying attention to the kinds of blogs I myself read. Really, it is only a few now, and each of them gives me something deep, rich, that shores up my own shy spirit-song. Each feels less like entertainment and more like nourishment. And other than those blogs, I'm mostly reading articles, interviews - seeking information, wisdom, poetry, rather than personalities.

It feels like a maturing of my reading habit. As if finally, after a very long time, I am reading for my own sake, rather than to support or encourage others or to be part of a particular circle. I have become more authentic in what I take from the world.

I like that I'm more able now to read some things by Robert MacFarlane but not others ... to choose a book from the library  knowing I might only read a chapter or two, or fragments all through, and that's fine ...  to not comment on certain blogs just because its good networking to do so.




Perhaps then this is what blogging wants from me - to worry less about entertaining readers and keeping an audience, and to focus instead on creating nourishment which I can leave in this space incase anyone wanders by. Weeds instead of flowers - weeds of the medicinal kind (also known as native plants by those with an open heart for the world.) And to trust that, if something wants to be written, there is a person in the world who needs to read it, and they will come here and find it.

In the meanwhile, I am working on this week's bag of seeds and stars, and dreaming wild about maybe a new book.



7 comments:

  1. You write in the first place for yourself
    which is the source
    you are
    it gives you a base, a kind of meditation
    it feeds the soul
    it clears out
    and makes clear the fog
    to continue your way
    that path wherever you may be you really are

    All-one with yourself

    which is the source and from there everything is alive
    everything flows
    in the slow unfolding of the time
    feel the moment

    Everything is love

    Yours sincerely

    Agnes

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sounds too common place perhaps, but I would have loved to write what you just did. I agree with it all.
    I always tell myself to do what's in my heart, not to please others.
    I'm trying.
    Wonderful post, beautiful images.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I know where you are coming from Sarah - I am beginning to feel this way myself. Blogging does take up so much time and even more so if you read blogs that don't really interest you. Trouble is, it is hard when people are kind enough to comment, not to go over and return a comment - it has become an etiquette to do so. I have been gradually cutting back on the blogs I read to those of people I genuinely like and whose blogs provide something of interest for me. Life is too short to sit at a computer all day.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I have found that growth of any kind is a slow, swirling, malingering sort of thing. In the quiet we can eventually come to see and hear and feel what it is we need. In the end, nothing really matters except the old adage to be true to yourself. I believe it is only the true parts that can connect with anyone else's true parts. Weeds or flowers. Maybe both.

    ReplyDelete
  5. When a few years ago I decided I would invest my limited reading energy in re-connecting with nature my reading habits changed much like yours have done. Articles, essays, poems, a few blogs. Every once in a while I read a complete book. More often I read a chapter, a line, a few pages or I search my books for what they say about a theme. Like at the moment about 'wasteland' and 'threshold'. To deepen my reflection, to be nourished. That is what you offer me here as well.

    On a sidenote. I am very grateful for your first newsletter, have reread it many times since.

    ReplyDelete
  6. "shy spirit song" -I love that. I love blogging and reading other blogs ... but they definitely have to resonate with me. I love beauty so anything with beautiful words and beautiful pictures makes me happy

    ReplyDelete